Hello everyone...again it has been awhile since I last posted.  I really am very sorry...it seems this journal has been put on hold for a little while...I do try to update my personal journal every once in awhile...for those of you who know that link you are more than welcome to visit there to find out more as far as life and what may or may not be going on with my mom...

right now I have dropped my summer and fall semester of classes...I am going to be spending most of my time at home helping mom and going to doctors appointments with her...and then probably a few weeks out of every couple months I will be in california with family...for my own sanity i suppose...but also because I really enjoy being with them...

mom is doing kemo right now...she has lost her hair...she gets weak sometimes...and very out of breath...she does get a bit sick from time to time...but not as bad as it could be with the large dosages of kemo that she is receiving...they are hoping that this treatment is working, but they don't know for sure...and wont know for another 2 weeks or so...if it is working then we will continue with this treatment...if it isn't...then its back to the drawing board...because the cancer is growing so fast and spread so far...they really don't know if this is working...but we are really hoping it is...

anyway...that's about all i have to say for now...I love you all...miss writing...and thank you all for your continued prayers...and your lovely tags  and comments

I am so sorry everyone.  It has been a very long time since I last posted here.  The deal is I got very busy with school and other things happening in life, then before school was even out I had to reschedule my final exams and drop one of my summer schedules altogether because our family is trying its best to be there for my mom right now...she was just recently diagnosed with cancer...then on mothers day we spent the entire afternoon and on through early morning hours in ER before she was admitted in to ICU...she has just (tonight) gotten out of ICU (and only cause she threw several fits) and they have moved her to a room where someone from the family can stay with her at all times.  Anyway...That is all I can really say right now.  Please keep her in your prayers...and I will come again when I can...I just do not know when that will be right now.

Love to you all

Melody

Sometime he calms the storm.  As you can all see, I have recently changed my background, title, and even the song lyrics that I had at the top of my journal. I felt that it was time for a change since everything else in my life is changing too. 

The song is "Sometimes he calms the storm" which is sung by Scott Kripane if I'm not mistaken. It is a gorgeous song, and if you've never heard it...I hope you will seek it out. It is beautiful, and very touching.  This song always comforts me.

Tonight I would like to talk about "The Storm"...How God calms the storm, and then how sometimes he chooses to let the storm rage on and calm the child.

In Luke 8: 22-25 You find Jesus and a ship of his disciples.

22. Now it came to pass on a certain day, that he went into a ship with his disciples: and he said unto them, Let us go over unto the other side of the lake. And they launched forth.
23. But as they sailed he fell asleep: and there came down a storm of wind on the lake; and they were filled with water; and were in jeopardy.

Jesus was sleeping, and all of a sudden that storm came down...I don't know about anyone else, but me...I have what could almost be classified as a phobia for thunder storms (when lightening is involved). Here I can just get this mental picture of Jesus on the ship peacefully resting, not worried about the storm one bit...and then Me (like the disciples) frantic with the current conditions of the seas (for us sometimes it is the seas of life), wondering why Jesus is sleeping, and not caring what happens to his children...so I go over and I wake him...now lets continue with the scripture...

24. And they came to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, master, we perish. Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was a calm.
25. And he said unto them, Where is your faith? And they being afraid wondered, saying one to another, What manner of man is this! for he commandeth even the winds and water, and they obey him.

All right, so the disciples were frantic, worried, scared out of their minds right? Right...in this mental picture I've got going I am frantic, worried, and scared out of my mind too...and so we wake Jesus up...(my words) "Jesus, this is bad, I'm going to die, do you not care that I'm going to perish?" Sometimes we get overwhelmed by life, and it seems like when it rains it pours, and when it pours you have the thunder the lightening and the flooding all at once...we have things going along nice and smooth, and then WHAM BOOM BANG you've the mother of all storms in your life, and you are scared, and wondering where Jesus is, and why he isn't helping you...why does he not care?  BUT...but then, Jesus simple rises up, and I can see it in my minds eye how he would merely hold up his right hand and in a soft, calm voice simply whisper "Peace. Be Still." And immediately, the winds cease, the waters become peaceful, and the storm dissipates, and you are left with a calm.  All the while, you (or me lets not forget me, or those disciples there either) are just standing their, your mouth to the floor you are in awe of your Savior...and He asks you where you faith is...It never occurred to us that perhaps Jesus was sleeping (not because he is like my daddy and could sleep through world world III taking place in the middle of his living room) because he had everything in control, you were afraid that you would perish, but he knew the plans he had for your life, and they did not involve disappearing forever because of this storm. 

But what if Jesus had not calmed the storm?  That physical, literal storm, OR that emotional, mental, internal storm raging inside of you that you felt would surely claim your life?  I'm a big "what if" person...which isn't always a good thing, but sometimes it pays off to be inquisitive...What if Jesus had chosen to remain asleep, and let that storm rage on?  Well let us turn to a similar, yet very different story in the bible found in Acts 27: 10-11, 14-26

10. And said unto them, Sirs, I perceive that this voyage will be with hurt and much damage, not only of the lading and ship, but also of our lives.
11. Nevertheless the centurion believed the master and the owner of the ship, more than those things which were spoken by Paul.

Paul warned them...Don't you just feel like a little kid sitting in front of your great grandmother as she tells you a story and your on the edge of your seat wondering what's going to happen next??? Now let's see what happens...

14. But not long after there arose against it a tempestuous wind, called Euroclydon.
15. And when the ship was caught, and could not bear up into the wind, we let her drive.

I am thinking that means, they gave up controlling the ship and let the wind have control of their vessel...isn't that just like us...sometimes we get so overwhelmed so instead of calling out to Jesus we just give up and let the storm control us, and then Jesus steps out for us and speaks to us when all along all we had to do was call for Jesus and he would have come on the scene...okay, continuing with the story...

16. And running under a certain island which is called Clauda, we had much work to come by the boat:
17. Which when they had taken up, they used helps, undergirding the ship; and, fearing lest they should fall into the quicksands, strake sail, and so were driven.

Oh no, you mean we don't only have a storm to worry about, but the storm now has us stuck on an island and our boat is all messed up and we have to repair it, AND THEIR IS QUICKSAND...oh no...what now...what are we supposed to do...let's continue

18.And we being exceedingly tossed with a tempest, the next day lightened the ship;
19. And the third day we cast out with our own hands the tackling of the ship.
20. And when neither sun nor stars in many days appeared, and so small tempest lay on us, all hope that we should be saved was then taken away.

That's it...we can't guide our ship because we can't see the stars (I'm pretty sure during this time, they still figured out where they were going by the stars and their positions to them) because this storm has the thick clouds covering everything...I mean come on "neither SUN nor stars" if those clouds covered up and hide the sun, those were some mighty THICK clouds...that was one wadoozie of a storm don't you think...but we can get ourselves into some mighty "wadoozie" type storms from time to time too...Remember verse 10, Paul had warned these men that this voyage was going to be dangerous and could cost them their lives...but they didn't listen to him, they ignored the warning that God sent them through Paul and they embarked on a deadly, dangerous trip...Don't we do that?  We seek out counsel from others, be they friends, church members, family, etc...and yet when we have asked for their advice, we say "thanks, but no thanks" and then go on about our business...Well, I know I'm guilty of having done that to God a time or two myself...Where I would pray "God, I need your help, and guidance, could you please let me know if this "voyage" is your will for my life", and even though a felt that apprehension in my heart which told me God didn't think this was such a good idea, I went ahead and forged into my "voyage" of such, because "Oh, well I believe this more than what God said." Oh, that's a big mistake, that's always got you looking for trouble people...we need to be careful (I need to be careful, Im talking to me too)...Then when we get way out in the middle of this "voyage" or circumstance, or whatever it may be in our life...we find that a huge wind comes bringing in a deadly storm (I know, I've been there not to long ago), and all of a sudden we are remembering that warning that God sent us...in this instance those men were getting to be reminded of that warning by Paul once more...lets read on...

21. But after long abstinence Paul stood forth in the midst of them, and said, Sirs, ye should have hearkened unto me, and not have loosed from Crete, and to have gained this harm and loss.
22. And now I exhort you to be of good cheer: for there shall be no loss of any man's life among you, but of the ship.
23. For there stood by me this night the angel of God, whose I am, and whom I serve,

What...what...what is this? Oh my, you mean we aren't going to die?? We are going to live, we will survive? You mean it is possible that we could come out of such a low, and desperate situation and still have our life to be thankful for?? How could this be...when things reek of such despair around us?? Well, let's see what happens next...

24. Saying, Fear not, Paul; thou must be brought before Caesar: and, lo, God hath given thee all them that sail with thee.
25. Wherefore, sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me.

God is going to save us..."Hip Hip Hurray, Hip Hip Hurray!"...I can just picture it...some men standing around with a look of wonderment and amazement on their face, thinking "How could God save us now, after we deliberately ignored his warning." others feeling that immediate "good cheer" that Paul said they could claim...and still others who whispered words of praise to this wonderful God, as their fear began to release the hold it had on their hearts...

verse 37 tells us that there were "two hundred threescore and sixteen souls" on this ship...Now if God is going to save those people from their storm, and spare their lives, and let them come out a little wiser, and a little more ready to heed his words...Don't you think he will save you from the middle of your storm???  If you will go on to finish this story in the book of Acts, you will see that the men were ship wrecked for awhile, and that just because they knew now that God was going to save them, that didn't spare them from some hardships...but it did increase their faith, to see and know that God had brought them as far as he had, and that he would bring them to the end of their journey in one peace, and safe!! 

I may not be able to tell you what your storm is, I may not even be able to tell you I understand how you must feel to be stuck in a boat, with such a fierce storm raging around you...but I have been through some storms of my own...some of which were brought on not by myself but others, and some of which were brought on by my own unwillingness to listen to God or seek out his help...and I hope that the scriptures and maybe some of my own words, that I shared today can be of some comfort and can help you see that things may look bad now, but if you will let him, God will be in control and you will come out of it with the calm factor...even in the worst of my storms, God has always sent someone or something to let me know that even though he wasn't calming that storm, even though he wasn't going to tell the winds and waves to "Be still." and make everything calm on the outside...he was still the God of my soul, and quite capable of calming the storm of fear raging within me, regardless of the circumstances and storms blazing on the outside.  You may have a member of your church, or a friend from a group at school offer you a word of encouragement that lets you know God is still there and he's going to keep you safe even while this storm flares on...but it may not always be a person, so often we look for another human face to be the answer, some word that they have to offer...but many times it has been a simple phrase that was brought to my memory that encouraged me and opened my eyes enough to see that God was still protecting me...or there have been times where I simply let my bible fall open and asked God to speak to me through whatever my eyes landed on, and many times he has...and I've seen just how much that fear in my heart was crippling me, and keeping me stuck in the middle of that storm, and was then able to see how even though that fear was present in my life..God's presence outshone that of the crippling emotion/circumstance/depression/lost job/tragedy/etc...

The outcome may not always be what we expect, or want, but if God is in control, it will be what is best.  So inspite of the storms that we all may encounter along life's path...I hope you will keep in mind, that God is the God of the calm factor, and he can bring you through any storm you face, if you will just trust him and put it in his hands. 

Hello there...I am back...up and running yippee hurray!
I went back to my parents yesterday as soon as my last class was over...while there...after a ton of machines...I finally heard the voice of a real life person on the other end of the phone telling me that MY phone would be turned on around 6:00 that evening...THANK GOODNESS that is over..So the great news is I have internet on my computer again and can get back to my journal.

All right...moving on to bigger and better things now.

My Pastor announced last night that we are having a missionary from Germany come to visit our church the beginning of February. I am excited. I love it when missionaries get to come and visit...they always have so much to share...the services are always amazing.

Now...this is the first week of school (I know my post seems to be very scatter brained today...jumping from one thing to the next...just hang with me a few more minutes though)...this is the first week of school (which by the way I have totally enjoyed my first day of all classes...they seem to be pretty okay)...again, lets see if I can't try that sentence again and actually finish it--3rd times a charm ya know ...This is the first week of school and I do have a few things I need to take care of so Today I am going to leave you with a psalm, and hopefully next week I can post a little more here and there.

Psalm 150
Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.
Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.
Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.

It's good that we bring our thoughts, wants, desires, and needs before the Lord...that is absolutely GREAT that we do that...we have to do that if we want to make it in this world...not to mention God's word tells us to come to him with these things...but sometimes...we let the "I want I want I want" or the "I need I need I need" overpower the "I praise I praise I praise"...There have been times where the realization hit me so hard that I had been asking God to do so many things and I wasn't seeing anything happen in my life or in another's life...and I would begin to feel like God did not care...or that my desire or need was not important to him...which is a bunch of baloney straight from the enemy...The problem definitely did not find its place in God's hands...the problem was in my hands...I spent so much time wanting and needing and no time praising and worshipping...As soon as I got my priorities straight and remembered that GOD IS FIRST, and everything else will be taken care of as long as he is there...lifted up my hands and praised him for all that he has blessed my life with, and all that I know he will do in my future...you'd be amazed at how things just began working themselves out...actually how GOD just began working them out. So go ahead and bring your thoughts, wants, desires, and needs to God...you really do need to do that to keep yourself spiritually strong and grounded...but don't forget to lift up the name of the Lord and praise Jesus for all that he is. I have actually made it apoint on some days to tell God that I didn't want to ask him for anything I just wanted to praise him...it is so nice to spend time Praising such a wonderful God.

oops...didn't I say something about leaving? RFLOL...*rolls eyes* okay I am really signing off this time--duty calls!

Hello All,

Well I am in my new apartment. It has been...well...nothing short of interesting to say the least. I officially moved in New year's evening. All of my things were there New Year's Eve though. I think from the week I spent a total of 3 out of7 days in the apartment, and the rest have still been spent at my parents house. I came home Wed. for church, but I also had to take my dog to the vet as he scared the living daylights out of me. The vet told me he would really like it if I didn't have to stress him out by another car ride just yet. Soooo...I stayed the night at my parents house. I left Thursday around 1:30pm because I had to get a few things from my aunt and cousin. I got back and low and behold if I didn't stay there friday and at 5:30 this morning my alarm went off telling me to get my tail end back to O-town...yeah, well around 6:30 I actually got up lol. I am at my parents again today because I have to have blood work done before I can start this new job. I have to have my CPR renewed the 14th also...which means about the time I start classes at a new university I will also start a new job...sheesh, talk about new things all around. Please pray for me. Please pray for my dog too. He has had it rough the poor thing. He doesn't know what to think about all of this. I moved him away from the only home he has ever known, where he had 3 other dogs to play with, and a backyard to run around in...into an apartment UPSTAIRS where he has no other puppies to play with (yet...my friend is bringing her dog the end of this month) and he has to stay on a leash when he goes outside and he has to learn to stay in a doggie kennel when Ileave the apartment because he is not settling in very well and wants to eat my carpet...which is not very good...so my poor dog is just stressed beyond compare...and let me tell you, trying to train him to stay in a kennel is stressing me out...I don't like the thought of having to "lock him up in a cage" which is what it seems like to me...my friend assures me that it's okay...it isn't cruel...and he will be fine...but...my baby boy is not use to all of this and I just feel awful for doing this to him...anyway...pray that he settles into this new place and then I wont even have to worry about putting him in a kennel...I will have to be gone from like 9:00 in the morning until 10:30 at night anyway...with a 1.5 hr. break about 12:30 where I could walk him around...other than that he would have to stay inside till i get off work...i really DO NOT want to have to "lock him up" for that time... please pray...

I guess other than that things are going fine. I know the last two posts have been a little different than normal...but as soon as we get a phone line hooked up to our apartment then I will get back to my normal writing...until then...the quick updates are what I will have to leave ya with.

Until next time remember...Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27)

I'm going to claim the peace that he has so lovingly given to me. It is mine, and it is yours...a gift from our heavenly father. Just reach out and take it.

Okay...so I have an apartment. I have been moving cramming my car full of stuff all week, and unloading it into the new place. My room now looks soooo empty. It's strange. Tomorrow morning is an early up day. My Dad is going to load all of my big furniture onto the trailor and move it into the apartment. That would be the bed, nightstand, dresser, wardrobe, computer desk, and entertainment center...whew...that's too much stuff I'm telling ya.  Anyway, after tomorrow I will be all moved in to my own apartment...how weird does that seem...ALOT if you ask me.

I'm pretty sure I have a job. The town I am moving to is 1hr. away from home, and my new job is about 30 minutes from the new town, in the town over from it...it's pretty neat  I don't know if you can call it excitement, but I am definately wired...that's for sure. I'm going from one nut house to the next lol...It's another daycare...oh but the people there are really nice (well the few I have met) and ofcourse the children are just sooo cute, and darling...I'm sure they will show me their other sides soon enough...lol...but hey, kids are worth it!!

I will not be changing churches. I feel very close to my church family, and really do not feel God calling me anywhere else right now. I think he can use me where I am at right now. So, I will be driving the hour back home on Sundays and probably drive back for class the following morning once school starts. I hope to be able to drive in for Wednesday services too...but should something prevent that, there are nice churches in my new town (but I am just believing God for the Wednesday nights).

LOL...my dog is rolled upside down and curled up on my bed...it is quite the peculiar sight 

Okay, well I am about to fall out of my computer chair, and I have to get up early in the morning to get everything unpluged so that we can load the rest of it up. Here's the catch though. I am not going to have internet access immediately at the apartment. I am not canceling my internet provider, but it may take a week, possibly two for me and my roommate to get a phone line into the place...but as soon as we can have that taken care of I will be back up and running with my computer, and will pop in here to say hello.

Until then...Out with the old and in with the new...I hope you all have a wonderful New Year.  I send a hug out to all of my taggers and friends...You are all awesome!!

TTFN
 

I AM
kevin mayhew

I was regretting the past and
fearing the future.

Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
My Name is I AM

He paused; I waited; he continued:

When you live in the past,
with its mistakes and regrets,
it is hard. I am not there:
My name is not I WAS

When you live in the future,
with its problems and fears,
it is hard. I am not there:
My name is not I WILL BE

When you live in this moment it is not hard.

I am here:
My name is
I AM

2 Corinthians 1:14         Not for that we have domination over your faith, but are helpers of your joy; for by faith ye stand.

2 Corinthians 5:7           (For we walk by faith, not by sigh

2 Corinthians 4:8-18      We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death worketh in us, but life in you. We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak; Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Hebrews 11:1,6            Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen...But without fiath it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Faith--it's a must have in this life. We all need it, and God wants us to have it. *Lord increase my faith! Help my unbelief!*

My pastor preached on faith sunday night. Well, whether that is what his main message was or not, that is the message that was sent to my heart and soul. Just the one that was needed also! God always knows just the moment that you can take no more, and you need that brand new touch. He's waiting there faithfully and ready to give it to you as well if you will just claim it.  

I just thought I would share a few scriptures of faith with you all.

Joshua 6:1-5,15-16

1. Now Jericho was straitly shut up because of the children of Israel: none went out, and none came in.
2. And the Lord said unto Joshua, See, I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour.
3. And ye shall compass the city, all ye men of war, and go round about the city once. Thus shalt thou do six days.
4. And seven priests shall bear before the ark seven trumpets of rams' horns: and the seventh day ye shall compass the city seven times, and the priests shall blow with the trumpets.
5. And it shall come to pass, that when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, and when ye hear the sound of the trumpet, all the people shall shout with a great shout; and the wall of the city shall fall down flat, and the people shall ascend up every man straight before him.

15. And it came to pass on the seventh day, that they rose early about the dawning of the day, and compassed the city after the same manner seven times: only on that day they compassed the city seven times.
16. And it came to pass at the seventh time, when the priests blew with the trumpets, Joshua said unto the people, Shout; for the Lord hath given you the city.

I got me a good old heaping spoonful of Joshua friday! Oh boy and did it ever feel great going down!! or well...coming up I guess *lol*. Where I work, it is a christian environment; actually it is a christian daycare and academy. They have chapel on friday's before the kid's go home. This friday The pre-k and kindergarten did a special performance. It was geared toward praise and worship, and oh my dear...there is nothing that stirs my heart more than seeing young children sing and dance and worship the Lord. There is nothing so sweet as a child in the presence of God. You could feel the presence of God all over that building.

After the children finished there wonderful scene the teacher who was speaking for the day got up to give her talk.  She spoke on Joshua. On how he and his troups made a JOYFUL NOISE UNTO THE LORD on that seventh day. You know, it is a joyful noise...when God tells us we can have something, and he tells us how we can attain it...and then we follow those instructions...I believe it does make God very JOYFUL...it makes us JOYFUL too! Well, Joshua and his men did just that.

God told Joshua (my words paraphrasing here) *This city is yours for the taking Joshua, if you and your men will circle the walled city seven days/seven times and make a joyful noise to me...I'll give you that city.* God was going to give them a city that had walls soooooooooooo high...those were some huge walls people. You couldn't see over them they were so tall...and you couldn't get through them they were so thick...and my goodness...your enemy is on the inside of those walls...why would anyone want to get inside there...right??? WRONG...okay so lets take a look at this...those walls are humanly impossible to get around or through...and inside that wall is an enemy that would crush me if given half that chance...hmmm...BUT...God said he'd give me that city...he'd give me that victory...he'd give it to me on THAT DAY  if I would just obey his command...his command is to march around this situation/problem/illness/broken relationship/lost loved one/test at school/sick pet/hurt friend/etc...march around this situation and shout unto him...and even though my enemy may be inside that walled city...I know that enemy isn't going to get the better of me because GOD said he's going to give me that city and GOD DOESN'T HAVE PLANS TO HURT US BUT TO PROSPER AND HELP US!!!

Okay God...I'll march around Jericho...I'll march around this friend of mine who has cancer...I'll march around this final exam...I'll march around this sick child...I'll march around this troubled youth...I'll march around this church in need of a musician...I'll march around this lost loved one...I'll march...and I'll march...and I'll march...march...march...march...and I'll march in VICTORY and on THAT DAY, that day when I lift my voice and worship God, not for what he has done, or what I wish he would do, or what I think he "might" be able to do but for what I KNOW HE CAN AND WILL DO... I know God's gonna give me the victory...

God has promised each and every one of us our very own Jericho...and who is to say he's only promised us ONE Jericho...God is not a one time God...no, he is an ALL TIME GOD...he's God all the time...and if he gave you that victory once, he'll give you another victory and another victory and another victory...if you'll just lift your hands in him to praise, if you'll just raise your voice in worship to him, if you'll just fall before his thorwn in adoration...he's going to honor that joyful sound, he's going to honor that praise and worship...and he's going to deliver Jericho right into your hands (Joshua 6:2 "I have given into thine hand Jericho, and the king thereof, and the mighty men of valour.")

My words may have been a little scattered tonight, but my mind is a little scattered tonight...going on little sleep, and even less brain power  but I wanted to share with you that even though you are standing before a walled city in your life that looks so impossible to gain control over...God is capable of giving it to you, if you'll only listen to his words, do as they say, and take what he offers...

In our church we do what is called a victory march...it's never planned...but when someone feels led to start marching, they do so...and it is amazing how in the end you have an entire church marching around the walls lifting hands to God and shouting words of praise and worship to his Holy name for victories that have past, victories that are happening, and victories that we know are coming!!! Like Joshua fought the battle of Jericho by marching around the walled city, and then on THAT DAY--that 7th day--playing trumpets and shouting unto the Lord...God delivered that city and that enemy right into their hands...he can do the same for each of us today. Whatever your Jericho is...be it cancer, lust, lost souls, need of a new job/home WHATEVER IT MAYBE...just have yourself a vitory march around the situation or problem, and praise God for what you know he's going to do in that need...the walls of Jericho didn't fall on the third day before they were through marching, the walls of Jericho didn't fall on the sixth day when they were almost through marching, the walls of Jericho didn't fall on the seventh day when they were "ABOUT" to shout unto the Lord...the walls of Jericho fell when they LIFTED THEIR VOICES ON THAT DAY...so come on people...you have a need...and who doesn't...we all do...I know I do...so praise the Lord, worship the Lord, give him glory/honor/and thanks for what you know he is capable of doing...All things are possible through Christ, and he can make your life a living testimony to that...so lets give our victory march, and lift our voices in shouts of praise to God so we can watch our walls of our Jericho's come tumbling down!!! God is willing to give you the victory, if you are willing to claim it and give him the praise!!! 

Joshua Fought the Battle of Jericho ~lyrics~

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho
And the walls came tumblin' down!

You may talk about your men of Gideon
You may talk about your men of Saul
But there's none like good old Joshua
At the battle of Jericho (that morning)

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho
And the walls came tumblin' down!

Right up to the walls of Jericho
They marched with spear in hand,
Go blow them ram horns, Joshua cried
Cause the battle is in my hand.

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho,
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho
And the walls came tumblin' down!

Then the lamb, ram, sheep horns begin to blow
And the trumpets begin to sound
Joshua's told the children to shout that mornin'
And the walls come tumblin' down.

A dear friend sent this to me in an email and it absolutely touched my heart.  We need to remember that God works through everything that we endure in life, the trials and hurt included!!!  I had to share this with you all.  I hope it blesses you the way it did me!!

Love,

Melody

Hurt--to Heal!

I cried, "Lord, use me!"

He answered, "Wait."

Then came the hurt.

Loneliness--I walked through desolation

to share His fellowship.

Doubt--I wept through despair to seek His faith.

Fear--I wrestled through darkness

to seize His freedom.

And the Balm of Gilead flowed

into the depths of my soul.

It cleansed; it soothed; it healed.

Again I cried, "Lord, use me!"

This time He answered, "Go!"

"I send you forth to heal.

Walk with the lonely--

share with them my fellowship.

Weep with the despairing--

seek with them My faith.

Wrestle with the fearful--

seize with them My freedom.

And the Balm of Gilead will flow

into the depths of their souls.

It will cleanse;

it will soothe;

it will heal."

He spoke again: "My child,

I spared you no hurt-- 

that I might use you to heal. 

By: Peggie C. Bohanon

Before I start I would like to apologize for the absence in my journal.  I am in my last semester at my community college and am working nonstop to try and finish the semester with my best foot forward.  God is faithful in providing a plentiful amount of help in making it through the semester...but between the time at school, work, and of course church I am afraid that my journal writing has been a bit on the neglected side.  I hope that I will get back to writing regularly again soon!!! 

Satan can wiggle his way into the cracks of your life by way of your past.  A past that, once you have been buried and born again in the Holy Spirit, does not even exist in the sight of God.  The enemy will take the past hurts, past troubles and trials, and he will use them as tools to bring you down and try to seperate you from God.  I am so glad to know that (Romans 8:38-39) "...neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to sparate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I am glad that I have finally allowed God to move in and start restoring my life with his healing touches.  Pulling down strongholds is not an easy thing, but with God we can be "more than conquerors through him that loved us" (Rom. 8:37), and we can pull down the strongholds that Satan is trying desperately to keep standing in our lives. 

It has taken me quite a time to accept that there is a difference between a "miracle" and a "healing" and that God works through both of them, and both are equally wonderful blessings.  Healings just take a tid bit longer.  SM spoke on this a few weeks ago.  Explaining that sometimes God touches our lives by way of Miracles.  For instance when he heals the blind man in Luke 18:43 ("And immediately he received his sight, and followed him, glorifying God: and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise unto God."). This scripture describes a scene where a blind man received his sight "immediately".  It was a miracle. 

Sometimes God chooses to work a healing "process" rather than a miracle.  It was difficult for me to accept that he was not going to take all of the memories of hurt and torment immediately away from my life; that a process was going to have to take place (and even then there may be that "thorn in the flesh" that remains).  Sometimes it doesn't come immediately, sometimes that second touch is needed (Mark 8:22-25) This time he touched a blind man and he could see, but his sight was not clear, it took the second touch for the healing to become complete...

Sometimes it takes more than even 2 or 3 times; 2 Kings 5: 10-12 "And Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying, Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean. But Naaman was wroth, and went away, and said, Behold, I thought, He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the Lord his God, and striked his hand over the place, and recover the leper. Are not Abana and Pharapar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? may I not wash in them, and be clean? So he turned and went away in a rage."  Naaman had to dip seven times in the Jordan before he was healed...This just shows that sometimes God sends us through a process, sometimes it isn't immediate, sometimes we have to wait for it, and waiting can be hard...sometimes we fight against having to wait, we want "another way" to do things, a quicker way, an easier way, a cleaner way...come on the "Jordan river" wasn't the cleanest place in the world, and even Naaman himself questioned why he couldn't be cleaned in a nicer river, yet the Jordan is where God said for Naaman to wash, and that is where his "healing" was held in God's word). 

Sometimes we need to open ourselves up and listen to the advice and counsel of our brothers and sisters in Christ. In 2 Kings 5:13 Naaman's servants came to speak with him, and this is what the servant had to say: "My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?" Sometimes what God asks us to do isn't our picture perfect idea of great fun, but God knows best, and he would never turn you in a wrong direction, nor make you "wash" or go through anything that would harm you.  He may put let things come your way that will be a struggle for you, things that you have to actively fight against (in mind and spirit), BUT he will never put more on you than you can handle. 

After Naaman listened to the words of his servant He then went down, "and dipped himself seven times in Jordan, according to the saying of the man of God: and his flesh came again liike unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean." 2 Kings 5:14.  It took him some time, but Naaman finally came to his senses.  He heard the word that God had to deliver by the mouth of Elisha, and he kept those words in his mind...but it took the message being heard a "second" time by someone close to Naaman before it really sank in and he obeyed God and received his healing.

We can be like this sometimes too.  Sitting in church, listening to a sermon being preached from the pulpit and you just "KNOW" that the word being brought that night is being preached "just for you" because it is speaking on just the things you have been seeking God for.  While you keep the message in your mind, you do not act on it though...you do not get up and claim your victory or your healing (I am just as guilty as this).  Later on you find yourself nearing rock bottom, and before long you find that you cannot even "reach up to touch bottom" any longer.  This is a time when you need to surround yourself with the word of God and with your Brothers and Sisters in the family of God.  For myself, I had heard the message that God was giving to me, and like I just mentioned it was in fact preached to me on a church night...I listened, and took the words of God in, but I held them snug in the back of my mind.  Then things progressively got worse, and finally I had come to that place where I couldn't even touch rock bottom by lifting my hand as far up as I could reach it.  Then a Sister in Christ spoke with me, and the same message I had received from Christ through the sermon, was the "same" message and advice that she brought to me.  Like Naaman, it took that "second" time of hearing that message...it took hitting rock bottom before I realized that if I didn't go dip in "my" Jordan river, then that healing wasn't going to come.  Again I say that I am so glad that I have finally allowed God to move in and start restoring my life with his healing touches.

Don't fret if you come up against a stronghold or a trial in your life and you don't see a "miracle" take the struggle away immediately...just praise God for the work that you know he is capable of doing in your life, allow yourself to receive his healing touches, and remember that sometimes God chooses to let it take that "extra" 2, 3, 7, etc.  touches before the process is complete.  He is always faithful to come through for his children though, never Doubt that God is with you because he IS ALWAYS there, and there is nothing in our lives to great or to small for him to care about and take care of!!!

Chorus
He's gonna take your pain
He's gonna take your doubt
He's gonna bring it all together, bring it all together
Gonna make you happy
He's gonna make you laugh out loud
He's gonna bring it all together
Bring it all together for good.

2 Corinthians 10: 3-5

3.  For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:

4.  (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; )

5.  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Title:  Wounds To Weapons
By:    Melody
Date: September 19, 2005

Dedication: To two lovely ladies who have blessed my life in more ways than they will ever know. Thank you Sister Anne, and Sister Mary for standing by me while God transformed wounds to weapons.

Bound by chains of bitterness,
And of hatred locked within.
Drowning in an ocean of hurt.
Your lungs are filling--
As you cannot swim.

You feel there is no battle
Because it looks as though he's won.
You beg for God to help,
But Satan hides you from the one--

--The one who wants to take the chains
That bind you down today
And crush them in his mighty grip
So you can stand to say:

"I once was wounded horribly,
And the devil had me bound,
But my wounds God turned to weapons,
And my freedom has been found."

--The one who wants to lift you out
From the sea of hurt you're in
So you can stand to testify
Of how your broken-ness He mends.
Don't fret my friend for soon you'll rise
To share the gift he sends.

You will testify to those who hurt,
Of how you once were them.
Then on one day God stepped in
And helped you stand to say:

"I once was wounded horribly,
And the devil had me bound,
But my wounds God turned to weapons,
And my freedom has been found."

My wounds God turned to weapons,
And I stand to testify today,
That YOUR wounds will turn to weapons
If you will call upon his name.

Your wounds will turn to weapons
And the enemy you will slay.
Your wounds will turn to weapons
Then you can stand to say:

"I once was wounded horribly,
And the devil had me bound,
But my wounds God turned to weapons,
And my freedom has been found."

© fluttershy85  2005

Psalm 30:5

...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Some times that night can seem to last for an eternity, but morning really is just around the next corner.  Don't give up right before you reach your joy!!! 

God of All Things!!!

Since my last post, God has moved in such miraculous ways before my eyes.  It wasn't necessarily in the "BIG" situations either (though there were a few of those).  If I had not been LOOKING for God, I probably would have missed it.  Just think of how many blessings and miracles we miss praising God for simply because we were not WATCHING HIM.

It all started with my new beginning.  Something I have begged, pleaded, cried, fussed for, and even deceived myself into thinking I had already had at some points...Only to find myself in the same place...Face down on the ground before God going "WHAT NEXT??"  God gave me deliverance.  A promise I have probably held since the events happened in my life, but a promise I did not even begin to foresee until at least 3 years ago.  When I first caught glimpses of that promise Satan buried me in grief, heartache, hatred, all kinds of his poison.  Eventually I lost sight of the promise God had for me, and I slipped into the dark despair of a deep depression crammed pack of anything that could possibly cross your mind. 

Well, to make a long story as short as possible (And i doubt it will be short anyway)...I found my promise again.  This time I didn't let it get away from me.  I took it by both hands and let God firmly plant it in my heart. 

I am a survivor of years of Sexual and Emotional Abuse by the hands of several different people.  There are two individuals in particular whom I seem to have had the most difficult time with in my life though.  I have despised, hated, and wished the most awful wishes on these two people.  I have been nothing short of rude and heartless toward them in my adolescence and on into young adulthood (I didn't know how else to act toward them, any kindness on my part always seemed to gain an awful "undesired" sort of attention from them).  The emotion and most consuming feeling "HATRED" dominated my life though.  I hated hated hated him (them)...God's promise...You will not always hate them, forgiveness is possible, life (no longer emotionally crippled but...) emotionally strong IS possible...And it is...and I'm getting to experience it first hand now. 

I confronted one of the men.  Years of believing, then doubting, believing and hurting, then doubting and hurting...I would try to make myself believe it was all a fabrication of my mind, and I was the sick, sadistic individual who made this up...then things would happen and I would not be able to deny, and the reality would hurt...only to toss back and forth between the two extremes, ultimately ending in just "hurt".  He did not deny it.  He put my mind to rest.  I always feared that having it confirmed would ultimately destroy me...but it didn't.  It relieved me.  Let me know that I was not a complete nut case, even though I have felt like it much of the time.  He did not make excuses.  Actually, he really didn't say much.  That is okay though.  I didn't tell him much.  I let him know that I had hated him for a long time, and that he hurt me more than anyone, but God helped me and I no longer hate him.  I don't know exactly what my feelings toward him are...I guess "sorry"  I feel sorry for him because he does not know God, and having my forgiveness will not amount to a hill of beans on Judgment Day when he is standing face to face with God.  Other than that, I don't know how to feel toward him because all my life I have only felt fear and hate toward him, and now both are gone.  I don't worry much about how I feel toward him though, God will take care of that, I have already placed it in his hands. I let him know that I forgave him, and I listened to the small bit he had to say.  Ending it, I let him know that regardless of what he says, or how he proves himself, I will never take my eyes off of him.  I will forever be suspicious, and forever be watching, and he better not forget it either, because should i find "anything"...that's the end of that...I don't tolerate kids being hurt...I just don't do it...and now he knows it...but it felt better...I walked way, for the first time of my life...without being afraid of him...I got to see him for what he really was, rather than what the enemy has made him look to be in my eyes...he wasn't this snarling, huge, hideous monster anymore (though he sure did use to be in my eyes)...no, he was nothing more than a worn down, old man, who could not hurt me any more because I did not only take MY power back away from him, but I walked into the situation with the greatest power of all...the power of God.  How marvelous is that.  The miraculous encounter (which I never in all my life thought I would be able to do...confront one the men who abused me...) took place over the Labor Day Holiday, and has only served to make me more aware of Satan's tactics, and more aware of God's blessings.  The night following this "overthrow" of Satan's hold over a big portion of my life...was very difficult...but instead of wallowing in the difficult moments, trying to face it all alone...I prayed, and picked up the phone to call a lady who is not only a mentor in my life, but one of my dearest friends.  She listened to the events of my day, and to the difficulties I was faced with at the very current moment.  She reassured me, and prayed not on for me, but with me.  Afterward, all felt right in my world again.  God sent me the biggest blessing of my life since the day I received the Holy Ghost...Satan tried to hold me captive to a past that did not even exist in God's book any longer...God simply freed me totally from the mental chains that Satan had tied around me...

It has been a wonderful world since all of this happened.  God has shown me (through this event) that he is God of the massive, but following that day he has shown me that he is equally God of the small.  The things we would usually let go unnoticed, unless specifically looking for.  A good grade on a test, a little bit of courage for a speech (which I made an A on, praise God), plenty of time for sleep, and plenty of time for all the things that need to be done like cleaning, playing with the dogs, taking time to help a friend, etc.  I have to give credit where credit is due, and DEAR LORD all credit goes to you God.  He has answered every prayer I have called out to him in the past two weeks.  They were not massively, huge prayers in my mind either.  They were small things.

"Dear Lord, please calm my nerves and help me deliver this speech."  
"Dear Lord, please bring C and J to church to hear your word and feel your spirit."
"Dear Lord, please bless and encourage the church in a time which could prove to be so very discouraging."
"Dear Lord, please help me manage my time better, allowing time for all the necessities to get done."
"Dear Lord, ..."  And they go on...

What did he do...he answered. #1-- he calmed my nerves and helped me deliver my speech, and do well on it.  May seem rather simple and silly to anyone else, but to a college student who's GPA is rather important to her...this was important.
#2--Not only did he bring C and J once, but he has brought them back, and I have heard them say they want to try and make it a more permanent thing (coming to church).  #3--since the outbreak of this storm my church family has been going through, God has not only blessed and encouraged the members (from what I am hearing), but he has helped the church grow...we are growing, and will keep growing, and new children will be born into the family of God...every service since the departure of our friends (is what we will call them), God has brought visitors to the church...not in great numbers at one time, just one or two or three, here and there...every service since this has happened there have been new visitors...if that's not God I don't know what is.  #4 I've made sure to devout time to God at night before bed even when I really knew that "this assignment needed to be completed", "I really need to study for this test", "I should go to bed now because I need to get up early in the morning", "I need to return that phone call instead of..."(